Haunted,

The other day I thought I saw you,

Just like I did every day all those years ago.

It was as if nothing had changed.

But it wasn't you. 

And I know it couldn't have been you,

Because you don't exist anymore.

You were gone such a long time,

and I don't know why you came back

watching me through the guise of a stranger

A presence from another time.

Why did you come to visit me?

Did you think I would not notice?

 You know I could never forget you,

even if you tried to hide,

I could sense your presence in a crowded room.

Was there something you wanted me to know?

Or were you just checking up on me?

Penance,

I've always had a penchant for not being perceived by those around me.

I speculate it has to do with the fact I never thought I'd be alive this long.

In all honesty, I thought I'd have taken my life by now.

I never imagined I'd make it this far.

Most days I feel as if I haven't, and I'm just an illusion of a person.

Wistfully passing day by day,

Without purpose.

That would explain why it's so exhausting to be noticed,

Reaching out through the void.

Perhaps it could also explain why I cannot succumb to all that I desire:

Substance. Belonging. Junction.

But still I remain; opposing my own convictions,

Bearing some semblance to penance.

Engulf,

Forgive me if I never open up again.

I have trusted too many times,

And the results are always the same:

I end up burned.

No longer will I trust you,

No longer will I look out for you,

You are on your own,

And I am on a warpath.

The misery and dread has been engulfed,

And all I see is red.

I may be shattered, but the remaining pieces are sharp,

And I will slice whatever stands in my way.